I will eventually find the time (and energy) to post some pics! We certainly have enough to choose from! In fact, I am about 3 months behind on my scrapbook! I just can't seem to find enough time to work on it these days!!
The last few weeks have been really hard on me again. Grandma's birthday was last week - and of course who did I usually call on that day to share the memories and remember grandma - well, mom of course. So I was sad that Grandma was in heaven, and then even sadder that mom wasn't available to talk to either! So I spent most of the day in tears. And then when Connor and I went to pick out Grandparent's day cards, I was sad all over again. I have had to struggle with buying a Grandpa card (and let me tell you, there are about 2 to choose from - they are all either grandma or grandparents) for about 7 years now. I never dreamt that the cards from Connor would just be to grandpa as well. And there certainly was NOT a card for great-grandpa (there was one for great-grandma though! I mean seriously, am I the ONLY one that has this problem??!!) So Connor and I picked out a card for Papa and one for PaJoe. Mom was the person I called for EVERYTHING! The good stuff, the bad stuff, the sad stuff, etc. For instance, when I got assigned a patient in Grande Dunes (the million dollar homes here at the beach) Mom would have been the first one I called to tell about how I got to explore the neighborhood (very tight security there!) And on the flipside, when I walked into a house with a dead rat on the floor - who would have heard about that??? Mom of course!!! I don't have anybody to tell all of my stories to :( I still cry most every morning - especially when I hear a certain song on the radio (like Martina McBride's "in my daughter's eyes")
My family has changed quite a bit over the past 10 years: Gram died in 1999, Grandma died in 2002, I got married and therefore acquired a husband in 2004, I had a son in Oct of 2008 and then Mom passed away in Dec of 2008. I continue to struggle with the fact that I no longer have a female in my life to look up to/confide in, etc. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the men in my life, but let's face it, that just isn't the same.
So anyway, I will post pics soon. I just need to muster up the energy to do so.........
2 comments:
Hang in there, girl! I too have trouble with the grandparent card situation. I agree that it is nearly impossible to find grandpa and great-grandpa cards. Very frustrating!!!
You are one of the strongest people I know, and I know that in time things will slowly start to get better. I went through the same thing when I lost my dad. He's been gone for 11 years this month, and I still miss him every day. Take comfort in knowing that you have tons of females in your life who love you!
I am sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. I can't imagine what you are going through. My mom and I have the same relationship you had with yours and I wouldn't know what to do if I lost her. I admire your strength through all of this. Just know I am thinking of you.
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